Spoiler alert: For those who haven’t seen Season Four of Netflix’s, Never Have I Ever, and plan on watching, don’t continue reading. Though I do watch some shows on various streaming platforms, it is not really my thing. Somehow, I got hooked on to the Mindy Kaling’s creation of life in the Vishwakumar household.
The teen comedy about a Tamil American family is the first of its kind and takes us into the world of Devi Vishwakumar. We meet her as a freshman in high school whose chief goal is to lose her virginity, go to a party with alcohol and get into Princeton. By the time she graduates, she does all that and more. As a South Asian, I was curious to see how Kaling’s narrative portrays our community. As a woman, I was drawn into the lives of the four women in the show. I was pleasantly surprised not only at the plausibility of the story-lines but at how it has steered clear of stereotyping.
I recently met one of the stars on the show, Richa Moorjani, who plays Kamala, Devi’s cousin from India. Richa admitted assuming she and the rest of the cast would be sidekicks to Maitreyi Ramakrisha but was pleasantly surprised her role was also pivotal. And maybe that’s why I enjoyed this show. It does not just focus on Devi’s high school ups and downs. It also dwells on the struggles of Nalini Vishwakumar, her mother, a young widow and single mother, raising a child far from her home country. It tells the story of Devi’s cousin, Kamala Nandiwadal, a young Indian scientist with brains and beauty, trying to build a career and steer away from the murky world of arranged marriages. It is about Nirmala Vishwakumar, the cool grandmother who rediscovers love and sexuality, as a senior citizen.
But more than that, Never Have I Ever is just a wonderful mirror for Desi women who can see themselves reflected. There are cultural nuances that are a part of daily life. Go ahead and kiss a book because it provides knowledge but hide that you’re kissing boys. If Devi’s mother knew the half of what she did, she’d be horrified. But how many girls did that and possibly still do? Nalini is conservative, but there are many Nalinis still out there. This show is like a wake-up call. Give your girls some slack. You chose to raise them outside India then don’t stifle them. It is not easy growing up in America or anywhere for that matter but let your teenage girl have fun. They will turn out okay and don’t worry they will get into Princeton too.
The women are multi-faceted. They are all intelligent and ambitious with well-defined personalities but also have vulnerabilities. Nalini shies away from a love life to focus on her daughter. Kamala loves a man her grandmother considers unsuitable. Nirmala wades into a relationship where she is the provider. All the women want to live the American dream but as Indians, fight to break mindsets. The mother daughter dynamic. The challenges of living with in laws. The desire to strike out independently. These women go through it all. And not once do we feel they need a man. They are resilient and empowered. What great role models for South Asian women. You can have a stellar career but can still cook a mean curry, run a household, pay the bills, wield your whip and show you care. They make mistakes but also learn and grow. They don’t collapse into blubbering women unable to cope with the curve balls life throws at them. How refreshing!
The show is about personal growth in a cultural context. Community is not an insignificant part of the Vishwakumar world. There are bitchy backbiters and mums with preconceived notions. There are pujas and festivals where they don Indian wear with elan. And India is everywhere. There is abundant use of Tamil endearments. Devi’s friends are offered Indian meals. Indian Gods grace walls and shrines.
And this blog only focuses on the South Asian elements. There are many other payers about the show that I haven’t even unpacked. My one quibble is with the All’s Well That Ends Well ending. Everyone is matched with a partner. Everyone gets what they want. Its all tied up with a bow and presented. So Desi women don’t leave with that message because as we all know, this is just the beginning. However, do take pride in a show that represents our gender as not just brown women, but as women who kick ass. The narrator, John McEnroe, should end by saying: “Never Have I Ever…learnt so much from women.”
